Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
