WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
