I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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