its not stalking. its research.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
