A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
