Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
