what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
