so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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