just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
