He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
