are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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