Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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