love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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