She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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