I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Welp...herpes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
