your parents love me but you hate me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
