i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
