When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
