Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
