How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
