my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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