Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
