he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize