Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How external is "for external use only"?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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