you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
