Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
