i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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