The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
