It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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