apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
