She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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