ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
