oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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