am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
