After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
