I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
