remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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