Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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