And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
