Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
