I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
