Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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