I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
