Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
