He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
