he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
