we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
