I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All the doctor said was why
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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