I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
