im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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