Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
