So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
