Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
