high people should be assigned attendants
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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