But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pants are for mortals
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
