We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
