babies were throwing up all over the place
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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