I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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