were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
