Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
