Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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