ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
