My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize