I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I will be naked everywhere
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize