I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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