she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
