Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
