I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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