Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
