dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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