i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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